Graduation Blues: Navigating the Leap from College to the Real World
Graduation. It’s a huge milestone worthy of celebrating. We know this because of the sheer number of graduations one might go through in their lifetime: Pre-K, Kindergarten, 8th grade, High School, College and beyond. Most of the time, these milestones are met with excitement and pride. It marks the ending of one journey and the beginning of a new, exciting journey- one that perhaps you’ve looked forward to for your whole life.
But what about graduating from college? Correct me if I’m wrong, but most of the time, we don’t grow up dreaming about becoming an adult and entering the workforce. Sure, we long for the freedom that adulthood brings, but the responsibility? No thanks. Add to it, everyone asking about your plans, where you’ll be working and living. All harmless questions, sure. But what if you don’t have answers to those questions quite yet? Graduating from college can be an extremely hard season of life marked with grief, frustration and anxiety. Here’s a few reasons why:
Career Uncertainty. You’ve spent the last 4+ years of your life deciding on a major, taking classes to prep for your future and then all of the sudden, BAM- it’s here. What once felt like a distant future is now all the sudden reality. Often times, people still aren’t sure what they want to do career-wise when walking across the stage. Others might know what the want to do, but an extremely competitive job market puts the dream job out of reach and inaccessible. Comparison can run rampant if friends around you have a clear path to the job of their dreams, while you may still be figuring out which path to take. These situations are normal, but not often talked about. Finding yourself in one of these categories can mean an increase in anxiety, making a hard situation even harder.
Finances and New Responsibilities. Often times, graduating from college is a natural transition point where one might become more financially independent. Maybe parents helped support and pay for school, but now- it’s all on you. This burden can feel like a ton of bricks falling on you all at the same time. The reality of supporting yourself can feel heavy and scary, especially in the beginning. Finding a place to live, figuring out insurance, learning the rhythms of paying bills and managing a budget. It can feel like drinking from a fire hose, and in some cases lead to an increase in anxiety.
Social Isolation. In every season of life before this, you’ve been surrounded by people who were in the same life stage as you. Think about it- since Kindergarten, you’ve gone to school with kids your age, attended the same classes together, cheered on the same football team, went through many of the same milestones together. This sense of comfort and familiarity can disappear transitioning into the real world. Suddenly, you’re with people of all different ages, coming from many different backgrounds with different life experiences. Maybe many of your friends are getting married, while you’re still single. Maybe your friends are staying relatively close to home while you’re moving to a new city or state. Maybe you’re going from living in a house with four other roommates to living in a studio apartment all by yourself. Maybe you’re entering the workforce and your friends are pursuing their Masters degree. What was once commonality becomes differences, dynamic changes. All of these situations can lead to a feeling of isolation and loneliness.
If any of this sounds familiar- let me take a second to encourage you. This season is hard and full of very real feelings and emotions. But these feelings and emotions aren’t permanent. And while everything you are dealing with may seem extremely heavy and strong at times, it will eventually subside. The storm will eventually quiet. Here are a few things you can do to help in the transition from college to post-grad life:
Set realistic expectations. Perhaps you’re realizing that you had some unrealistic expectations for what this season would look like. It’s never too late to stop and reset your expectations to something that is more healthy, reasonable and appropriate. For example, maybe you expected that finding community would happen organically and overnight. The truth is, community is something that takes time, patience, and it sometimes doesn’t happen as naturally as we’d like for it to. Maybe you’re realizing that you expected to find the perfect job with the perfect company right away. Instead, maybe it’s more realistic that you’ll have to work your way up to your dream job, or that you might have to accept a job that doesn’t utilize the degree you just worked so hard for until the right one comes available. Take some time and examine the expectations you had for this season of life and ask yourself- are they realistic? Are they fair? If the answer is no- try to tailor them to something more realistic, fair, and appropriate. This is one of the best ways to show yourself grace during this time.
Develop a routine. Having a set, daily routine can help in combatting feelings of chaos. It gives you the ability to feel as though something is in your control when it may seem like everything else is out of your control. Prioritizing exercise, prayer, and time to check in with family and friends each day can help decrease symptoms of anxiety and depression, and help you orient to this new stage of life.
Get plugged into a church. Many churches have thriving young adult ministries with events catered specifically to this age group. Visit a few different churches in the area and get plugged into a small group. This can be a great way to cultivate community, create new connections and friendships, and combat feelings of loneliness.
Have patience with yourself. Adjusting to the real world takes time. Figuring things out and getting in a rhythm and routine takes time. This isn’t a race (despite what social media may tell you). It’s okay if you find yourself experiencing grief, anger, confusion, loneliness. These emotions are common during any life transition. Give yourself the time and space to experience these emotions, and practice flexibility as you try to figure out which direction you’re headed in.
If you’re struggling, reach out to someone and talk to them about it. If needed, consider reaching out to a counselor, as this can be a great time to start counseling. Life transitions are hard, but you don’t have to go through it alone. Leaning into vulnerability with a trusted friend or confidant can make all the difference in the world during this time.
